Ethics and Skepticism

Am I ready for this?

Maybe not but here we go.

I have been hesitant to fully share about my energetic, spiritual, and what some might call psychic/mediumistic gifts for a long, long time because I thought it would make me look, well, less credible.

I’m comfortable outwardly validating my credibility. I can show you my diplomas, trainings, my number of years of experience, my happy clients. But talking about this element of my work has been HARD because I’m skeptical and discerning. I can’t just ‘take your word for it’ I need to feel it, to believe it, to try it and to feel it- it needs to be personal for me. For a number of reason which I am going to seek to address over the course of the next few weeks with you here so that whoever is reading might have a new perspective or a bit of encouragement in stepping into all that they are- including the untamable mysterious, and well, powerful.

Turns out that those gifts have, though seeming ineffable, been showing up in a big way to prove even to skeptical me that this shit is real.

From reading cards for a client and a completely unrelated meaning spouts out of my mouth. I say “I can’t help but feel like this is a new life, like an embryo that you are not telling anyone about”. I hear a pause then “yeah- part of why I’m not sure about the future is I don’t know how to tell my boss that I’m pregnant and no longer want to come in person during COVID”. Wow did that reading go on to deliver ways to safely communicate needs and how to open honest dialog with the boss so a favorable outcome could occur.

Or how about these INTENSE dreams of late?! You too? I tuned in before dreaming a few nights ago and invited loved ones to come talk to me- a gift I had even when I was a kid- and wouldn’t you know?: a fully formed person down to the way her hair was fried from red dyes came forward with with names and a relevant message showed up and even told me which of my clients she has been trying to reach?! You should have seen my face when I told my client about it and found out that she was real and that the message was needed for resolution to occur!!!

Mystery beacons: Say it. Say you have a gift- and then Doubt speaks back- no, I’m average. No, people will think I’m crazy. No, this isn’t provable.

I have been opening to the possibility that some of great mysteries don’t need intellectual proof because their truth can be felt! Every SINGLE reading I’ve been doing lately has been screaming back- BABE, how did you know that if it isn’t real?  I am humbled by the mini-miracles I help co-create, by the faith I cultivate. I can’t help but think that this is why people stay in toxic religions- because some part of them deeply feels into what truths it’s teachers and texts provide- and they also recognize that most sources have flaws and limitations and choose to stay for what they feel is real and to not internalize the rest- which is fine if you can stay in a relationship where the leaders create abuse or uphold unhealthy social power structures- I can’t but you might and I support you getting what you need where you need it.

And I’d now like to say to you. I am not special. We all have gifts. I AM special, because I’m tuned into HOW my messages come to me, what my relationship to divinity is- I am acting on what I believe, practicing it, embodying what I feel to be true, and holding myself to a high ethical standard.  As I affirm for myself and for those I work with that they are INDEED spiritual beings capable of finding their full potential, of having love and purpose in their lives, and of opening up to the miraculous. I become what I’ve always been: a skeptic learning faith!

and yet…

I am so freaking tired of the constant discrediting of a very important part of the human experience: SPIRITUALITY.

I want to stand up for all seekers and practitioners everywhere and say that everyone I know: from priests to witches: all strive to be of service, to creating healing and greater connection and love in the world. Yet the stigma of abuse haunts so MANY. And honestly it’s MERITED by real people who have done damage to others. I like to think my skepticism keeps me honest about what I am doing and constantly asking the deeper questions- even if until this point it as kept me more silent than what servers me and others.

I was extremely reluctant to step fully into the awesome sauce that is my practice and coaching because I was worried about people seeing me as ‘un-credible’ and because I carry with me such a HIGH RESPECT for learning and empowerment- INDEED I AM an academic. That is my background.  Learning about the cultures, history, theology, and psychology/biology that affect and influence what I deliver for myself and clients remains important to me, say nothing of the additional certifications and trainings I’ve undertaken to guarantee my own credibility and efficacy.

And then it dawned on me: I don’t need to strive to be different from the abusers in my field because by merit of my ethical beliefs I already am different. And so I’m going to say this clearly:

I ABHOR when people use spiritual messages to keep people trapped and dependent on them or their services. 

 Ethics courses and considerations need to be part of every coaches or spiritual practitioner’s training.

Because we are helping people connect to something bigger, and sublime, outside of themselves it’s important that we empower them in the process. That they know they get to choose, that many people can help them and that they have the ability to find the people that resonate with them at different times in their lives. The best example I can give is this- I am a large, self assured woman who loves to nurture through education and empowerment- guess what types of guides and beings reach out to me with messages? Ones on a similar vibration or those seeking to balance with that element. If you want to talk to Elvis or Aliens I’m not your person. Me not being that doesn’t make that wrong, me telling you from my position of connection and leadership that others who channel Aliens are wrong IS wrong- see where I”m going with this?! I don’t get ethically to claim ULTIMATE authority over a field which, by definition is Mystery is Being is All Potentiality is Permeating is Accepting of All. I do get to call you unethical AF if you are using the perceived authority of the Devine to manipulate others or take their power.

If you are mad that I just called out your behavior- is it because you’ve been doing something that you know is predatory? That’s a Rhetorical Question BTW.

I ABHOR when people say that they got a message from sprit telling them that you need THEIR healing and you need to prove your value as a human or commitment to your spirituality because ‘if you really believed in spirit or your self or you want miracles than you’ll buy this from me.’ (barf, like those are the only ways to do that?!) In a recent group I witnessed a ‘channel’ who has been non-stop ‘channeling’ messages from ‘the akashic records’ that perfectly align with what she is selling and that say for everyone to join her payed course- a tactic forbidden in the group rules without mention that the owner could do it. I have no problem selling. I have a major issue with her claiming spiritual power and authority that the sell needs to happen for others to heal! (and before you ask, why I am in this group, consider that I attempted to politely reflect this to her). In my personal experience as a channel, rarely do meaningful messages come through from spirit that are intended to manipulate behavior. Rather most of what I channel and encourage are messages that inspire LIBERATION, self awareness, and greater deeper questions!

I’m tired or LEADERS or people in the community who can’t admit that other’s can be right too. News Flash- since spirit is ineffable why do you think you are the only person whose words can represent a ‘truth’ which by it’s nature cannot be truly spoken or known? No one single persons owns truth- we are all responsible for seeing how we get in the way of it and also how we contribute to a collective experience of it in equal measure.

That type of behavior is NO DIFFERENT than the catholic church of the middle ages selling ‘indulgences’ for your sins so your soul will not suffer in hell for eternity.  Buy it now, get it results….? Think of all the bloodshed that could have been prevented if the church had listened to Luther’s request for a conversation about ethics in a space where ethics were taught and discussed. Again, exchanges for guidance and wisdom are good and natural but you can’t sell forgiveness in the next world- no one can MAKE God or anyone else forgive you- including yourself.

Let’s not even go into how ‘guru’s or ‘experts’ or those in spiritual power take advantage of people’s desire to be taught, to find meaning, and use it to abuse them financially, physically, or emotionally…..

This all to say, in unpacking all the wrongs I see- I am finding more and more the confidence to show you who I am. You can’t know how I am not what I fear or judge or seek to heal in the world if I’m too afraid to show you what the good version of all this looks like. It may still feel dangerous for me to talk about my experiences, especially those I prize, hold dearly, and have been the most transformative to me-those that at times fall into the realm of miraculous or supernatural.

I hope you know how much love, beauty, and awareness surrounds you always. I bless you that you may always have the discernment you need to grow, and the openness for even hard growth to be fun. I hope you always know how powerful you are and that you find the courage to look within and ACT as well as stand for GOOD in your world.

Thank you Lauren J. Alexandria for the amazing photos. You help me see myself in all the contrary, powerful, wild energy I am.